May 20, 2010

Lately I’ve been thinking about what my husband must think about me. To set the stage I will tell you a little of my history: I’m a rock climber, hiker, adventurer, international traveler. I don’t wear make-up ( who has the time) rarely shave my legs (again, who has the time, my hair is blonde anyway), and only wear a dress to funerals. I am a professor and well educated. I can argue the subtle points of just about anything but rarely find the time or have the inclination to do so. I am a Mom, 5 times, that has endured the loss of one of my babies. I’ve been with my husband for 20 years, 15 of which we have been married. I know he thinks of me as very capable and well, a superwoman. But even superheroes need support, a sidekick. Batman has Robin. I have my husband. Having a newborn means minimal sleep, maybe 4 hours a night. I prefer to get a few hours in the morning when he can watch the new one. Most of the time, he never offers and he goes about his day as though we did not just have a son. Granted he has a business to run [yet, I still have a job to do] and he does most of the shuttling of kids, he has spring football practice to attend and a multitude of other sticks in the fire.  However I still want him to be sensitive and aware of me.

After every baby is born, there is an adjustment period where the family tries to figure out how to accommodate the new life or in the case of a dead baby, the absence of life. It takes time and usually involves frustration and tears on everyone’s part. Eventually, equilibrium is reached–just getting there sometimes sucks.


  1. I hear you. I hope you reach equilibrium soon. You’re right – we need a sidekick to share the whole crazy and beautiful “new lifeness” with.

  2. as many moms have said, “I need a wife.”
    I am sorry it is sucky right now, ((hugs)), strength, love and peace to you. xoxo

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: