Archive for March, 2010


OB Appt

March 17, 2010

I had an appointment with the doctor yesterday. I go every 2 weeks now, normally the same — weight (gaining too much), blood pressure (always fine), measuring (always measuring big), baby’s heart beat (130 ish). Until the final sentence in our conversation

“Do you want to start non-stress tests?”.

I said, “nah, I’m good.” 

She looked at me kind of funny so I said, “What does that face mean?”

She said, “You’re 33 weeks soon.”

“Yeah, so…?”

She said, “We usually need 4 weeks of baseline measurements before we deliver. You should start NST’s this week.”

4 WEEKS !!!!  Crap, I don’t think I’ll be delivering the baby in 4 weeks. But, there it is. The possiblity that we could have another little one in 4 weeks. I’m thinking more like 6 weeks. My husband was just getting over me telling him that it was no longer 7 weeks but 6 weeks (he doesn’t keep track). The timing all depends upon my strength, my ability to endure the stress of believing that my baby has died or is just about ready to die every single day, my mental state and of course, the results of the NST’s.

As a result, I felt ultra-vigilent all day yesterday and today. Baby is moving too much. Doesn’t that sound insane but I truely believe that Norah was is distress and moving way too much the last couple of days and I didn’t realize it because I didn’t know a baby could move too much. I’m paranoid, seriously, I’m looking forward to my NST on Friday. I need reassurance that baby is not in distress, that it is just me in distress.


Everyday Discussions

March 1, 2010

Yesterday I was making sure my 7 year old was buckled in her seatbelt after a nice day at the zoo. She said that she wanted to sit in the back of the van because she likes it there. No problem, let’s ask E. if he’ll switch. Of course, he did. As she was getting down I said, “After this little one is born, you’ll always have to be in back, there will not be a choice.”  She looked at me square in the eyes and said, “Mom, you can not be sure that this one will live.”  Ouch.

I told her that she was correct and that I could not guarantee it but that I hoped this one would live. “Me too” she says and skips around the car. The talk of dead and life are intertwined in our household. At dinner the topics range from how long people live, to how people die, to what makes us alive. The 7 year old likes to watch shows about doctors like emergency in the er and other Discovery Health programs. She will also watch Dr. G the medical examiner. Some kids react very sensitively to the death of their sibling. Whereas, my kids have taken a more practical approach — understanding life and death and the physical processes involved. I told my husband that we are going to have to get a well illustrated anatomy book soon because I don’t think my explanations are enough. Any suggestions?