I am in introvert.

January 25, 2010

One of my colleagues told me the other day that she is leaving and going to a different university. She said she is going to be closer to her family and because her husband wants to go. I’m really bummed. I put as much energy as I put into any friendship into the one I have with her. Granted, sometimes that is not a lot but I did make an effort and enjoy her company. After she told me, I cried on my drive home. For some reason, I think that is an overreaction. Yes, I am pregnant but I’m not sure why her departure is hitting me so hard. We work together on a couple of projects and I see her almost everyday. She is female with a young son, and understands the daily stresses that a female in academia with a young family has–what I have to deal with everyday. Not many people understand that and to have someone in the department was awesome. Now she is leaving. I’ll see her at conferences and maybe in the field if we ever get funding.

Now the point of all this is that it has led me to think of friendships. I know in academia people shuffle in and shuffle out. It is a revolving door. However, since I have been here, no one has left in my department. I like it that way. I like that it stays the same when my lift outside of work is always shifting. Work is a constant. Now, that is shifting. It leads me to the conclusion that if you make friends, you are bound to get hurt. Should one have friends then? Or should one not and be reclusive?  I admit that I am an introvert. I don’t have that many friends because I don’t make time to cultivate the friendships. I have some acquaintances. My best friend is from college and she is 800 miles away. We talk on the phone every other day. But I don’t have a go-to friend where I am. I seem to be functioning somewhat properly. So, why even make friends if they are going to leave?  Or alternatively, should I be more flexible and make more acquaintances but not get attached to them. Some people understand that friends come and friends go. Another friend will replace the one that they lost. But, I don’t feel like that. I feel like I’ve lost something special.

Friends, are they worth it?

One comment

  1. ((hugs)) I have no answers. I think it is yes…
    and life is just like that, like an ocean and we are like driftwood floating on it. xo

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