July 8, 2009

Last night I was watching a show on t.v. entitled something like “I didn’t know I was pregnant”. I am fascinated by these documentaries because I can not imagine a situation where I would not know I was pregnant. I often fantasize about just having a baby one day…not knowing I was pregnant. Imagine all of the worry, sadness and fear that could be avoided when having a rainbow baby if I did not know I was pregnant anyway. My two oldest kids came home right in the middle of one of the stories. The lady gave birth to twins, not knowing she was pregnant. H. said “How could she not know she was pregnant. Your tummy gets really big when you are pregnant.”  yeah, thanks for the reminder.  My son could not be outdone and started asking questions also. 

So as I was getting their pajamas on for night time, H. says “Why do you have to have dead babies”.  I said, “I don’t know, sometimes babies aren’t born alive and Norah was one of those”. But isn’t that the million dollar question?  I wanted to reply by saying “I have not freakin’ idea why I had a dead baby.”  The honest words of inquiring kids can cut me to the core. The best I got is “I don’t know”.

There are 26,000 still births a year. That is one in every 160 births. Ten times the rate of SIDS deaths. I’ve heard some people quote one in every 100 births. Seriously, that is alot in anyone’s book. Why don’t you hear more about research, or prevention, or even the doctor mentioning that it might be a possibility. You don’t. A baby’s death is kept quiet, swept under a rug. The families of dead babies are treated poorly or not acknowledged at all. Uuugghh. I’m a little pissed today.



  1. I’m sorry for your hurt and anger. I wish that there were no dead babies, and no hard questions and answers for your little ones, and for you.

  2. I also don’t get those pple who can have a baby without knowing they are pregnant… craziness!

    Children are so to the point and ask the hardest questions. ((hugs))

    I have been having a lot of pissy days…. you hang in there and chill. xoxo

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