February 21, 2009

I realize this is not a typical babyloss blog. Being 15 months out, I no longer need to write about Norah everyday. She is with me everyday but I have accepted her death and am trying to live life in full appreciation of those on the living side. I’ve changed. I’m not the same mama I once was. One positive, if I must choose one, is that I am impervious to misfortune. When my Mom died 5 months after Norah,  I cried and I was sad but, my grief in no way compared to that of when Norah died.  I’m assuming that it will be that way for the rest of my life…

Lost my job, so what

Dog died, no problem

House burned down, its just stuff

I am stronger but honestly, I was already strong enough. I would rather have her here with me in the physical world.

And just in case you were wondering, in my mind’s eye, I see Norah as 15 months old and not a baby anymore. Maybe in the spirit world, the dead continue to acquire age but maybe they see it as accumulating wisdom.

Gotta go Maya keeps hitting her head on the keyboard.

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